Sunday, August 29, 2010

OUR INNER CHILD

It's Sunday night & I decided to write instead of watch the old Alfred Hitchcock shows that the T.V. is tuned to.  Great old shows of course. Part of my personal childhood.  Loved Alfred Hitchcock Hour every week.

Our inner self, our higher self, our inner child...what are all these parts (and more)??

Our inner child is a term used to describe the part of ourself which is the parts & the sum of our childhood experiences & perceptions of those experiences.  Young children are VERY literal.  So when an adult says something to them they take it literally & possibly differently than we may have meant it. We might use a metaphor or example & they might take that literally.  An example which i recently cited to someone...When I was teaching preschool I once was helping a 4 yr old get his shoes on.  I was really struggling to get the first one on his foot and I said  "Does your mother have this much trouble getting these shoes on?"  And he replied  "My mother doesn't wear these shoes"  Ha Ha it was very funny,  however a great example of how little ones perceive things.  So anyhow...all those jillions of things your parents & teachers said and did to & for and about us are all in our subconscious' and are possibly affecting our lives in many ways.  Current experiences may trigger some of those old experiences and perceptions from childhood. And we get upset or things go badly over & over again.  That's the inner child in a nutshell.  Hypnosis is an appropriate avenue for speedily cleaning up some of that and learning to protect and care for that part of ourselves the way no one ever did for us when we were young.

Here's another example.  I had a young adult friend who kept telling her  2 yr old he was "bad" when he did something "wrong".  I went a little ballistic over it because I have seen and experienced the damage that word can cause.  The really interesting part came when the young mom accused me of calling her a "bad" mom.  I actually had told her to simply tell him it was unacceptable behavior. And that calling him "bad" was  unacceptable.  The whole thing was proof of what I was saying to her.  She felt "bad" because she was probably told she was "bad" just as she was telling her child . 

In the long run I accepted the idea that this behavior is what keeps me in business.  I am sure we have almost all experienced the feeling of doing something bad or being a bad person or however that takes form for each of us.  I can not tell you how many clients I have seen who seem to have a vague feeling of being bad. Or that they have done something "wrong". 

Well, I had planned on writing about our "inner self" in this blog but it seems the inner child needed to be heard!!!  So next time....

Have a great week.  Get lots of rest & do something that your younger you might like to do.  Something SAFE & FUN !

Monday, August 23, 2010

Quitting Smoking

Good Monday Morning!!!  Before writing on the topic at hand I thought i would share my own personal growth in the area of self-discipline. Being born under the sign of Sagittarius I am not by nature inclined to having a lot of self discipline.  There are many areas in my life where that needs improvement and I now discover that doing this blog will be a wonderful opportunity for me to dig in a little deeper for the discipline of weekly (or more) blog writing.  So be it known that this is a growth experience for myself on many levels, one of them being self-discipline.

Ah, quitting smoking...when I began as a Hypnotherapist I didn't really want to deal with people quitting smoking.  They might smell, they aren't that motivated...lots of preconceptions etc...  It turns out I LOVE helping people quit smoking. What better service can be done than to get one more person un-addicted to that nasty, disease & death causing, corporate profiteering, money wasting, life wasting, painful death, hate ourself for doing it weed. It is rewarding for me and I find that other Hypnotherapists in my area (Mendocino Coast of CA) send me many people trying to quit because they do not want to deal with it.  It isn't quite as "romantic" as helping someone release childhood traumas (altho oft times there are those with my smoking cessation clients). 

Just for some interesting reasons why people begin smoking...there is the "usual" reason of being rebellious from parents and of fitting in with peers.  This is quite common.  Some  are a little more interesting .. I had one client who's parents told him that only grown-ups could smoke. So his young mind of course wanting to be more grown up...starting smoking because only grown- up's could.  Watch what you tell your kids!!
My personal fave I have come a cross about 4 times...Young men in the army, in schoolroom class training.  They were told if they were smokers they could go out & have a break to smoke.  If you didn't smoke you didn't get a break.  I get pretty angry at that one.

There are many different approaches in Hypnotherapy for helping people get off the nasty habit. There are those that do a full day of group sessions and people sometimes quit in just one day.  I find that 5 or so sessions is effective in both building confidence for quitting and weaning off cigarettes a bit slower.  Different processes work for different people, both Hypnotherapist and client.  I used to play a little game with myself and when i had a few clients simultaneously having appointments for quitting, I would guess who'd quit first, or who would actually succeed, who'd have the easier time etc...  I was usually wrong.  I'd think one person would be easy and it would not happen that way.  I don't play that game with myself anymore. Not long ago I had a couple both quitting and one of them told me he thought he would best quit suddenly & not gradually.  His girlfriend told me the opposite...you guessed it...they even did the opposite of what they thought they would. She quit all of a sudden & he had a heck of a time even easing off. Each of our inner conscious' knows what to do better than we think we do.

Many people want to quit on their own ( I did) and that is great. I'm going to give some hints here to help with that and hope it helps someone. I do think some type of support system is of help.  A smoking cessation group can be of help (check your local hospitals for those).  I think there are 800 numbers that are advertised for helping people quit.  I do not find these to be that helpful as reported by clients who have tried them. But it IS worth a try & they are usually free. Patches, gum, Rx drugs are all available.  I will not see someone while they are on the patch or gum.  I find that when they are done smoking and using patch or gum...they are still addicted to the nicotine. So there is still way too much chance for smoking again.  I have some serious reservations about the Rx drugs as the side effects sound pretty nasty to me.  I am not totally anti drug but I do stand on the side of serious caution in using them. I do not think there is a magic pill out there for quitting smoking...Hypnotherapy included.  There is still some work  and often a battle or two to win.  It is easier for some and easier at sometimes more than others.  But those are the issues & areas where hypnosis can really help.  Getting to the deeper blocks, finding creative ways to help, boosting confidence & self-esteem,  lending a lot of support, are all ways in which a Hypnotherapist can be of  help.

So what can you do to either begin quitting or quit?  The very first step when you feel you are ready to quit is to begin changing some of the habits that go with the smoking.  Smoke in a different place at a different time. Smoke a different brand. Store them in a different place.  Begin changing those neural pathways you have created as ritual around the habit.  Learn to take a break without smoking !!

 Cutting down the number of cigs each day is a start. I sometimes have my clients allot themselves a certain number of cigs for the day.  Like 10 for starters.  Those have to be stretched out & that's all you get for the day. Then cut it down by 1 or 2 each day until you are only smoking 2 for a couple of days.  This is when there can be a bit of a struggle.  Quitting those final 2 takes some conviction, commitment, will power and some tools to feel good about oneself and to substitute more positive & healthy things for the cigs...ie...ice tea, fresh water, meditation, stretching, hobbies, walking, gardening instead of poison in the lungs.

Keeping a positive confident attitude is important. Knowing the difference between how you feel about yourself  as a smoker or as a non-smoker.  Which way do you like yourself more?  Which way makes you feel successful & good about your choice?  Do you like yourself more when you smoke or when you don't smoke?

And very important is to truly see yourself as a non smoker.  This is key.  Non smokers do not smoke. This is how I quit with only that strong thought.

Well, that's it for today.  Have an awesome week. Get help when you need it!!

Blessings,   Sandy

Monday, August 16, 2010

My First Blog..."Woundedness"

In deciding my first post to this blog I pondered a lot on what the topic could be. Our shared experiences of being wounded both emotionally & physically kept coming to mind...so here I am to share those thoughts. There will be so many topics to discuss & I really look forward to it all.  I will be attempting a new post 2 times a week. Please do comment and share your thoughts also. I look forward to that too. Topics of interest to you are welcome as suggestions for discussion.

Since I am a Hypnotherapist part of my views will be based upon that science/art.  But much of it is simply human experience and the ponderings of someone who believes that neverending self improvement is the only option.  We have the responsibility to improve ourselves as much as possible.  The Universe or Supreme Being or whatever you believe is at work will give us unlimited opportunity to do just that.

Now for the topic at hand..."Woundedness".  Now we have all experienced childhood wounds and trauma to varying degrees. From the very horrendous to the dysfunctions of family life. These childhhod emotional wounds are the perfect subjects for work in Hypnotherapy.  Releasing & healing as many of these wounds as possible can really lighten the load and allow for huge changes in our lives.  If you ever have the chance or can create the opportunity to work with an experienced Hypnotherapist on healing the inner child you will most likely have great benefit from the process.  You can learn to more effectively protect those deeply vulnerable parts of your psyche and also to be able to better care for that part of yourself.

What appears to be more difficult in many respects are the ongoing wounds we incur throughout the rest of our lives.  Difficulties between family members, misunderstandings between friends, relationship difficulties, communication problems, traumatic events, caring for loved ones who need our help, war, political strife, physical injury and the emotional toll that takes, loved ones in pain, drugs, alchohol....and on & on...
It can get pretty grim.  I was really struck once by hearing the Rev. Billy Graham in an interview. He was asked if he had any regrets.  He commented on how after all the work he had done and tried to do, he felt the planet was in way worse shape than when he began.  Here was a person who felt he had something to give & could help..even if we don't subscribe to his beliefs etc...and he was in his later years saying he didn't help much at all.  There is SO MUCH woundedness out there that people are more & more despondent and rageful than ever.  It is not getting better although we can always hold the hope of improvement.

The point of this communication is 2 fold. We must as individuals uphold our responsibility to improve ourselves so we do not become a part of the problem AND to give some ideas on how to take care of ourselves emotionally in  healthy & safe ways.

Improving ourselves...there are so many ways of walking this path. Spirituality, counseling, creativity, meditation, prayer, love, forgiveness, exercise and so much more.  Hopefully anyone reading this is somehow involved in improving themselves.  It is an awesome journey. It is empowering and insightful, compassionate and truthful.

*A helpful hint of the day...change 1 thing this week to make your life better.  Or simply change 1 thing.  Brush your teeth with the other hand, make out a check differently...DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

The ongoing wounds of life can build up and create many difficulties for us...just feeling exhausted from dealing with it all. Same thing day after day. Life taking a traumatic turn and changing in the blink of an eye. HOW do we deal with these ongoing stresses and wounds.  Of course support from loved ones & friends. Again, prayer and meditation & examining one's spiritual or personal beliefs. But it is most important to just make some time for relaxation and relief  from it all.  Take a walk on the beach, a nap, get a massage or do a hot tub, just a hot shower can help.  Spend time with animals if you love them. Draw, paint, write, sing...
Take at least an hour each day to do something for yourself.  You will certainly feel better and will be better able to face any stresses in your life.  Get help if you are stuck.  We all need help at times.  I always say I wouldn't be stuck if I could get myself out of it.  If you are really stuck, get some help.

Givng up on yourself is not an option. It only represses the issues, and the problems will tend to increase & get worse when we do not face them or take care of ourselves properly. Giving up on ourselves increases everyone else's stress. You will be creating problems for those around you & society in general if you give up on yourself.

OK...that is my first blog.  Remember to change something this week!!!   I'll be baaackk....

Monday, August 9, 2010

Hypnotherapy and Healing on the Coast for 20 Years

As a long-time health practitioner on the coast, I look forward to sharing my knowledge and experience with you!